Weigh In Day

This morning I left a treat for Mr PJ.

He just came back to work after being out for quite some time after a snow mobile accident.

He was not in the office today but that is ok.

He will be back one day this week.

256.2 lbs

I was surprised at first to be down because I have done nothing at all this week but eat.

Then I realized that last weeks weigh in was the morning after a long flight so I was likely a bit swollen.

I can not seem to make myself get back on track.

The struggle is daily.

I look at other blogs, instagrams, facebook pages etc. of other folks that have been successful and sometimes I find it inspiring and motivational.

Lately however I have been finding it hopeless and discouraging and I am envious of all those that seem to be able to get a handle on this weight loss thing when I cannot.

I want it so much and it consumes a lot of my thoughts.

Some days I want to just give up and stop thinking about it.

I just want to accept that it is what it is.

I am fat, so what, get on with life and get over it.

Problem is that I do care and I cannot just get over it.

So I continue on.

I went through a similar battle with my well being when I was depressed a few years back.

I tried everything, books, therapy, medication.

I knew I was depressed, I wanted to stop being depressed and although I did not know how at the time, I believed that I would overcome it some day.

And I did - it was not due to any one thing either, I think it was more of a combination of things.

Also I think that one day it just clicked with me that I was the only one standing in my way, I just had to decide to be happy and then things just started getting better.

That makes it sound simpler than it was and I know there are folks that struggle with depression and it is very real and it is not just a matter of deciding to snap out of it so I am not insuating for a moment that it is an easy thing to get out of.

I just know for me that through determination and lots of struggles, I found my way out of it.

It took work, it did not happen in a day and I changed a lot of things about my life - for instance, I moved clear across the country.

But the thing is, I believed one day I would get there and I did.

I feel the same way about my weight.

I feel like one day it will just click and I will get it.

Right now though I am battling to get there and it is really a struggle.

The main thing is to not give up, to keep trying and searching for whatever it is that works for me, and believing that I can do it.

Wow - that was a long blurb but it was really bothering me today.

I have been feeling so fat and horrible but yet I am eating chips while I am thinking these things.

Why I do this to myself is a mystery but I will figure it out one day I am certain.

My cousin told me about a website called Zenni where you can order glasses very cheaply.

You take a photo of yourself to upload then you can try the glasses on and see what they would like.

My glasses are old and I think my prescription has changed a lot since I got them so I really need to order a new pair.

I took this selfie to use on the website and ended up ordering 3 pairs of glasses.

It came to under $40 for all three pairs and the shipping.

I ordered just very basic to see what the quality was like, also, I am due for an eye exam in December so will likely need to get new ones again as my eyes have gotten progressively worse over the years.

I am looking forward to getting them in any case and will update on the quality once they arrive.

I thought I had a massage schedule for tonight but turns out it is for next Monday so I did a little blogging then headed out to the golf course to work on this weeks Burger Love Special.

My Honey made was making this mac n cheese for the men's night special tomorrow night.

I am not normally a big mac n cheese fan but this stuff tasted awesome.

I cooked up some fries & chicken strips for supper.

My Honey tweaked his chicken strip recipe again and says it's perfect now so I had to try them.

Me made the Mexican Fiesta burger.

It had guacamole, sour cream salsa, cheddar cheese and taco chips on it.

It was a little messy and I am not too sure if I am crazy about it yet but I was too tired at that point to come up with something else.

It will do.

 

My hair dresser was by to golf and asked if I'd seen my brother yet today.

He went in there today an got all his hair chopped off.

I hadn't seen him but he did drop by later to pick up Max as mom is going away tomorrow for a few days.

He looks so differeant with it shorter.

He grows it out long and then suddenly one day he will just go and chop it all off, been doing it for years..  I think it looks good either way so whatever makes him happy!

 

I sat and finished reading my latest book "Summer at Little Beach Street Bakery".

It was a light, easy, fun read and I enjoyed the author's style of writing.

She has lots of other books so I will be on the look out for them now.

 

Thats about it for today.

Until next time, be happy!